Another challenging week happened in the meantime!
I struggled with time management, health issues, and as always, balancing my needs with the other responsibilities and chores. No surprise, that writing once again took a back seat. To top it all, a nasty migraine crept up in the wee hours of Sunday that lasted through the best part of the day, leaving me exhausted in mind and body with a deficit of energy and optimism. As I always say, the world looks like a very different place when you’re in the throes of a migraine!
Despite my best attempts, I couldn’t go past a few lines of this free writing post that was meant to be published on Sunday evening.
The week that went by was a mixed one. But if there was one refrain through it, it was this one thing—feeling not enough—this emotion ran through my being all through the week, even though I kept pulling out facts and incidents that proved me otherwise. Feats, achievements, little victories here and there—but nothing, absolutely nothing made me feel adequate or enough! And then, as if on an impulse, I picked up Hector Garcia’s wonderful book Ikigai for a re-read and it worked wonders for the mind and soul. I went through my notes as I read along, ones that I had made when I had read it the first time and then, for some inexplicable reason, the weight inside me lifted and I felt lighter and soothed from within. A nudge and a push and the right kind of inspiration came right through to instill faith in myself once again.
I can’t tell you how many times I need to do this over and over, when the feeling of self-doubt creeps in! As I went about my day, I mumbled to myself all day about all the things I actually DID and how I made things happen too, not in another life but in this very lifetime!!
Sometimes, it’s all about unleashing that inner warrior inside of us to come to the fore and take charge—I’m referring to the one that sits on the sidelines, watching and waiting, unsure, a little doubt-ridden, but trying to feel brave and wondering how to get back into action and taking charge. Of course, the moments when it sets foot on the playing field only to get run over by doubt, insecurity and fear will be many, but still, rise it must.
Belief in the self—that’s where it all begins, I remind myself time and again. I don’t know about you, but I always lose count of the number of times I’ve faced obstacles, challenges and setbacks in my journey and felt lost. One needs constant reminders. Each situation makes us question who we are and if we learned anything from that experience that came by. There’s something to be said about the magic of reflecting!
And then, there’s the other reminder that also comes in handy—every time life throws a curve ball our way, we must throw it out of our path and walk on. Continue moving forward, no matter what. That’s what I did. But I had to get my inner warrior back in action first and it was tough this time.
The battles of the mind continue through this year as well—needless to say, we are all on this one. Nobody has been or will be spared, but move on we must, right?
So, armed with a lot of ‘unputdownable-ness’ and ‘to-hell-with-whatever-comes-my-way’ tenacity and humour I’m stepping into Day Two of this week. I’m excited about joining my writer friends for the #hopewriterschallenge which, I hope, will get me back to my writing groove. I have many plans for the week but most of all, I’d love to focus on me first. Feeling good inside and out—that’s what I’m working on this week. On that note, I sign off—
I wish you well, my dear friends. Have a beautiful week, and I hope you get to do whatever it is that you’ve set aside time for!
Much love, big hugs and cheers from me to each one of you stopping by the blog this week.
Stay well and stay safe, everyone!
Hugs, Esha. I am glad rereading Ikigai helped you somewhat. Journaling normally helps me when I fall into a low mood. It’s great to see you doing the #hopewriterschallenge. I liked Shinjini’s happiness jar idea. ❤️
Feeling like you’re not enough is one hell of a pesky gremlin to deal with! I have a running list on Notion that I call my happiness jar, where I write down all of my accomplishments and copy all the lovely things that my podcast listeners and newsletter subscribers say to me. That helps to silence the gremlins.