Musings on a Sunday Evening

The looming greys seem to bring with them a sense of foreboding. I am watching the overcast sky right now as I begin to type on my laptop, after a break of almost 15 days. A post on the blog is long due and I am here, today, all set to share a slice of my world. The little patches of blue amid the greys, even as the latter threaten to cover the rest of the sky, looks pretty.

I pull myself back to my laptop screen.

No, I haven’t put in a word yet. But, I will.

Yes, the words have eluded me these past two weeks. All this while, I’ve been drowning in a deluge of mixed emotions, trying to process what has been consistently flowing in, in the form of news updates from friends and family about people we know who either made it or didn’t. Hope and despair appear to be swaying to the tunes of a song that is barely audible. Life and death seem to hang by a thread. Every night, I go to bed with a silent prayer of gratitude, thanking the Universe for every little thing. Who knows what tomorrow might bring? To be honest, I’ve no inkling of what awaits us. Fear plays peekaboo with the mind these days. It hides in the nooks and crannies of the mind, like fish that hide under coral hedges for fear of being chased by the predators.

Given the state of mind I’m in, I consciously stay away from watching or reading anything remotely close to what has been happening around us. Some days, it appears that reason will never win. Nor would willpower. It’s almost after five full days of a torturous roller coaster ride, that I begin to see light again and come out of the space that I’d never wish to experience again.

The words had abandoned me these past two weeks, but I knew I had to find a way to welcome the words back into my world again. Words. Stories. Tales. Be they of loss and heartbreak and despair. So be it. It’s been the little everyday battles that had wrung every ounce of energy and positivity out of me, totally and completely.

So, I chose to take a break, and be kind to myself. We all need to be kind to ourselves during these difficult times. Compassion, kindness and resilience bring us strength to face the dark days of our lives.

As the looming greys gently fade under the cloak of darkness, my words begin to make their appearance one by one—hanging onto each other, in a string, ready to take their places.

Prayers to the Universe, to grant us the strength and show us the path to find the light that we so desperately need, right now.

I just hope that the Universe is listening.


Written as part of our #SoulfulSunday freewriting exercise—a concept ideated by VinithaShilpa and yours truly.


4 thoughts

  1. The universe is listening to us is something I always believe. The present times are tough times when it is difficult to preserve our sanity and positivity with all the ill-ffated news pouring in from close quarters. And this is why it becomes necessary for us to set boundaries around us to stop the negativity and fear from coming inside and affecting us. I hope you felt much better this week than the last one.

  2. I can relate to what your thoughts, Esha. Words fail to appear when uncertainty descends. I go through that more often than I care to admit. You are absolutely right, Esha. We need to be kind to ourselves, especially during this difficult time. It is easy to criticize ourselves, but that doesn’t bring any solution. Taking a break is essential. So glad to see your words flowing after a break. 💖

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