What is it about grey skies these days?
I wake up and find that colour has gone out of our lives. What about those gorgeous sunrises or the dramatic sunsets that we watched from the balcony in the mornings? Much like our lives, now dangling between life and death, a certain virus has taken away many of the joys that our hearts would swing to, so easily. How we took our days, our joys and all our laughters and smiles for granted!
Nowadays, there’s always a never-ending flow of pain, and there’s loss and constant heartbreaking news. Then, there’s that one constant in our lives—fear, the real and potent kind, the one that robs us of our peace of mind in the day and sound sleep at night! A perpetual sense of foreboding sweeps over our hearts and minds. The sense of spontaneity has gone. Even when we do have a happy moment, deep down inside, we seem to mutter our silent prayers, hoping fate will not spring unpleasant surprises on us and we mumble to ourselves to keep us safe and not rob us of whatever little peace of mind we have garnered for ourselves in these difficult times.
Ironically, there’s never been a time when it’s been so pressing to do all those wonderful things that we’ve always yearned to do. Because, what this pandemic is doing is killing us inside, wiping away all the spontaneity from our hearts and leading us to a point where we might simply wither away and perish one day.
These days, in the midst of all the loss, fear and pain, I try to look for hope and happiness. Every little moment is treasured. Every bit of hopeful news is precious. Time and again, I say to myself—all I have is this moment with me because tomorrow is light years away and who really knows what it will bring for us.
So, while I have been drowning every now and then, in the mighty sea of chores and responsibilities, I’ve constantly also been reminding myself to create time for my passion, i.e., writing, This renewed focus has forced me to change my daily habits in more ways than one, to make room for everything that is absolutely essential for one’s mental, physical and emotional wellbeing.
This alone has given me a new perspective on facing life in all its uncertainties. It has helped me make the transition from paralysing fears to a sense of hope.
I’m now realising why a creative routine is of utmost importance to cope with life at this moment. I’m working at it every single day and yet, I fail horribly, on some days. But, I’m trying not to drown in despair when this happens. Instead, I wait for the time when things are a little easy.
Keeping at it helps. Not giving up ensures I show up, on the blog, every single week.
Yes, life will certainly demand our time and attention, always, but we must learn to prioritise our creative expressions, no matter how busy we are. It is never a question of whether we have the time or not. Rather, we must create the time to fit in all those things that matter to us.
We must learn to dive into all those things that make us happy. We must learn to embrace the change that’s a constant in our lives now. We must begin to look beyond the imminent and instead focus on things that speak to our soul and light up our hearts—anything, absolutely anything, to banish away those rising cortisol levels in our systems!
I was struggling to write a post since Sunday evening, after two heartbreaking losses sent me into a spiralling round of hopelessness and sadness. But, I forced myself to show up today.
Needless to say, a teeny tiny ray of sun on a grey sky day turned out to be my muse this morning! And I’m so grateful for these little moments of inspiration that life seems to throw at us every now and then.
What’s your inspiration? I’d love to know how you write when things don’t go your way and you’re at a loss for the right words. Please do share your thoughts in the comments below.
Written as part of our #SoulfulSunday freewriting exercise—along with Vinitha, Shilpa and Anamika.