Over the past few months, I’ve been grappling with a whole host of personal issues, that has led me to question a lot of things that I’ve normally taken for granted all these years. What would irk me most was my response to the situations, most of which were beyond my control. It has been tough taking on the odds when giving up felt like the most sensible thing to do. I’m so thankful that eventually, the optimist in me took charge and decided to hang in there, irrespective of the outcome.
Perhaps, I should tell you that since I tried and tried really hard, things did eventually get better and even though we still have it tough on some days, we are able to see light at the end of the tunnel. The past three months seems to have been the longest three months of my life ever. It has been a roller coaster ride for me, trying to come to terms with events and situations that I thought would never ever come my way. Well, never say NEVER, is what I learnt. You never know what life has in store for you until you face it. To say that my mental and physical wellbeing became a casualty in the process is an understatement. It actually turned my life upside down as well! What a journey it has been! And, now, looking back, all I can say is—what a learning it’s been!
But, that’s just my story. I’m sure you have one too. Have you ever wondered, how all too often we get into a tight spot that almost nudges us to give up? And, because, we cannot seem to find an answer to our problem, we actually stop looking for one. That is probably where the problem lies.
Maybe, if people wouldn’t give up so easily, but would just hang on a little longer, many tough problems would end up getting solved themselves. Why knows, sometimes, just plugging away at the situation until it is taken care of, could lead us to our resolution?
“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
—Harriet Beecher Stowe
A few essential things we could do at this stage is to keep an eye on what’s coming next. Staying aware is an absolute must while we’re on this journey of keeping up against the odds and letting the light come through our cracks.
Changes don’t happen on their own—We need to make them happen consciously. If we want more positive energy in our life, we will have to create it. And it surely can’t happen if we give up or quit.
Looking beyond our immediate reality might be a key challenge at a time when we are going through a crisis, and yet, that is when we most need—to follow a purpose greater than ourselves that gives us perspective and to make us feel that we have earned the right to enjoy our lives. Finding a worthy cause—be it anything— where the focus is on someone else, might be one of the best things one could ever choose to do during this time. And it works amazingly, trust me.
Finally, it really comes down to how we gather our inner forces to lead us on. Even a last minute dramatic reversal of a situation has the potential of leading us ahead, provided we make the best possible use of all that is made available to us.
As Franklin D Roosevelt says,
“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”
Simply put, when all else is lost, it is best to tap into whatever resources we may have. The idea is to stick to the fight. To put up our best. To do whatever we can with whatever we have. If we go down, we go down fighting. Giving up can never be an option.
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Linking up with Corinne of Everyday Gyaan and Shalini of Kohl-eyed Me for #FridayReflections.
Esha,
We are not strangers to tight spots. In our 39 years of marriage my husband has lost his job a few times that resulted in long periods of no income. One particular time was when our children were young and we had well more financial responsibilities that felt like a noose. While he searched for work we prayed mightily and tried keeping a positive vibe going so to not let that deep depression that can happen swallow us whole. It was a constant battle and it was really hard to see that light atvthe endvof the tunnel when his unemployment turned in months then years. Thankfully just when we were at our weakest God opened a door for us which we gladly went through. It sure teaches one about faith and the power of prayer. God has brought us through other hardships including medical issues that were scary. I hope your journey is smoother theses days. Thanks for visiting!
Esha when the times are trying its very difficult to stay sane or rather in control of your mind. More often than not we either end up lashing at the other person (it happens with me sometimes) or we go into a phase of anxiety or depression.. Glad you could come out positive out of your hard times.
This is truly inspiring. I needed to read this today.
Esha your post resonated . Such a beautiful insight .., you have expressed as only you could do !!!
I remember a time when I was swallowed up in the deep fog of grief—what I think of as the void—an emptiness that filled my heart, my lungs, constricted my ability to think or even to breathe.I learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of loss and that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe again. I also learned that in the face of any challenge , you can choose joy and meaning.
In one of my searches I came across an inspiring talk by Martin Seligman( Ted talks) After spending decades studying how people deal with setbacks he found that there are three P’s—personalisation, pervasiveness, and permanence—that are critical to how we bounce back from hardship. The seeds of resilience are planted in the way we process the negative events in our lives.
The first P is personalization—the belief that we are at fault. This is different from taking responsibility, which is a good thing and what one must always do. The lesson here is that not everything that happens to us … happens because of us. We often blame ourselves for being in a situation but thats not fair .
The second P is pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life. You heard the song by Tegan and Sara .. “Everything is awesome?” This is the flip: “Everything is awful.” There is no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness. Nothing seems right … life appeared to be a chore ! I realised that wallowing in this negativity will get me down and everyone else around me ! So I consciously looked for positive affirmations . It helped !
The third P is permanence—the belief that the sorrow will last forever. For weeks no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there. I dint know how to snap out of it . I dint know how to make things better . But remember the lines .. this too shall pass ! Giving up .. is not an option !
Its an irony that some important lessons in life are learnt through sadness and through loss . I have now rediscovered gratitude in new and different ways !
I have built enough resilience so when the challenges come, I will remember that anchored deep within me is the ability to learn and grow. In this process I hope to discover the very best version of myself .
There are these few things we need to do. just put this quote up in front of you –
If you are overwhelmed BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT SLOW
If something has happened and you are caught up with frustrations BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT SLOW
Are you moving too fast ? BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT SLOW
Enjoy this moment in life. When you look back you may feel it was too small to handle. Moments are too few to waste.