Analyzing anything too much just makes any problem worse. I have been doing just that over the past few days.
And, if that is not enough, I’ve also found that I’m suffering from a severe case of writer’ s block too. So, after having spent hours ruminating on what to write, I found myself staring into the blank screen in front of me, unable to string together even a few words. Every day it was the same thing. I got fed up of feeling stuck. Tried a few things but nothing came of them.
Finally, this morning, I told myself I would have to train to focus on thoughts that would help me move things forward and in the right direction. But, how was I to do it and where at all would I have to start?
Of late, I have been noticing that my son has been getting scared of the dark. He reads a lot of books and has a vivid imagination which has something to do with imagining scary creatures lurking in the nooks and corners around. He finally confessed the other day that anything dark scares him very much. So when he mentioned that he was scared of ghosts, goblins, and monsters because he thought they were real, I reasoned with him and asked him why he thought so. Had he ever seen them anywhere? As an adult, I know they aren’t. The situation helped me to understand my predicament. In a way, just as his thoughts get reinforced by the emotions that go with them, so was my mind, reinforced by my recurring worries, pushing me into a downward spiral of unhappy thoughts.
The realisation came, that if my thoughts begin to change, I will feel better. And if I act rationally, despite what I feel, things will begin to look up. After my usual 3 km walk, I did all the chores at home, that needed attending to. This time, I decided to deal with my writers block once more. I actually wrote down my thoughts, as they came flowing. Some of them made sense and some did not. But, what it made me realise was that unhappiness cannot exist on its own. It occurs because of thoughts, which can be changed. Was I able to change the course of those despairing thoughts? Perhaps.
The not-so-happy experience from yesterday is now over and gone. But, if I don’t move on, it continues to exist. Today is a new day, a better day, and worrying about the past just dooms my present. It’s how you process it now that makes a difference.
Realising this has certainly helped. The fact that we all have a choice, makes us realize what we’re doing to ourselves. The need of the hour is to get up, find a distraction, and do something interesting or positive. I made a sketch of the Buddha and wrote this post out of my current train of thoughts. Something is surely better than nothing!
Some days are difficult. They make us appreciate our good days. And when I say to myself, This too shall pass, my heart feels lighter, already.
There is so much in life that I am unable to control. Today, I’m tapping into my inner peace and drawing strength for myself because I really want to be happy.
(Linking this post to EverydayGyaan’s #Monday Musings)
Sometimes, I face similar issues. Sometimes I write at a stretch, sometimes, I go for weeks before writing anything. But, what I do now is, when I write a lot, I schedule the posts for later publishing, thus taking off the pressure to write something. So, I write when I feel like, though trying to set aside some time in the mornings. To each his own. Wish you luck to overcome the block.
Actually I am beginning to do the same now. Juggling between tasks sometimes time is a little too tight and even scheduled posts don’t happen 🙁 Thanks for the invaluable tips, Lata….always handy 🙂
Hugs, Esha! I know this feeling very well. Sometimes unhappiness sneaks in without our permission and smears our very being with it. I battled through these days recently. As you said, we can change it with our thought process, but that’s not an easy task, I know. You succeeded in keeping the writer’s block away and writing your thoughts down. And that sketch is wow!! If you need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to ping me.
Thanks, Vinitha, so glad to have connected with you in 2015! I absolutely agree with you knowing that we have shared experiences here. Lifting oneself from the abyss to a point where we can talk about it is far from easy. Trying to face up to my bad (writing) days has been a challenge but totally worth it! Sure, now that we are connected, would be lovely to catch up sometime 🙂 Hugs to you too
Good philosophical post Esha. I completely agree with the below line:
unhappiness cannot exist on its own. It occurs because of thoughts, which can be changed.
Thanks, Ramya 🙂 It comes as an after-thought when nothing seems to lift the veils of darkness and you suddenly begin to see the cause-and-effect connect.
For me, the one method to deal with writer’s block is to write anyway. The posts which one write when clawing one’s way out of the darkness would be soulful. Write more. There are readers who love what you write.
The sketch is simply amazing. Almost perfect in my eyes.
So true, Maliny. I am writing to deal with my angst at the moment and it has been a huge relief although this needs to be an on-going process I think, in my case. So glad to hear your encouraging words…more strength to you and the power of your pen too…you write amazingly well, yourself! Sketching is a great stress-buster btw 🙂
Just what I needed to read right now, Esha. It’s amazing how the Universe conspires to bring us messages through each other. Just as your son’s situation showed you the way, your post inspires me too.
That sketch is amazing. Hope to see more of your art!
Corinne, am absolutely honoured to hear that you think so! Great morale booster anyday, coming from you 🙂 It is amazing how sharing our innermost (and not-so-happy) thoughts with another makes us feel light already. Blessed to be part of Write Tribe and my wonderful fellow-bloggers!!!
I know this very well. The negative thoughts pulling us into the abyss of depression. Thankfully you were able to show them the boot today and telling them they are useless and unimportant by telling yourself happiness is a choice you want to exercise and today you are choosing to be free of them and happy. Writing down random thoughts works as a therapy. The sketch of Budhha looks brilliant to me 🙂
Glad to know that we can draw strength from each other’s experiences! The journey between being low and actually getting over the feeling is quite a difficult one but nonetheless do-able and ultimately worth it. I am using writing as an exercise on such days hoping some good (and possibly a post) will come out of it 🙂