Analyzing anything too much just makes any problem worse. I have been doing just that over the past few days.
And, if that is not enough, I’ve also found that I’m suffering from a severe case of writer’ s block too. So, after having spent hours ruminating on what to write, I found myself staring into the blank screen in front of me, unable to string together even a few words. Every day it was the same thing. I got fed up of feeling stuck. Tried a few things but nothing came of them.
Finally, this morning, I told myself I would have to train to focus on thoughts that would help me move things forward and in the right direction. But, how was I to do it and where at all would I have to start?
Of late, I have been noticing that my son has been getting scared of the dark. He reads a lot of books and has a vivid imagination which has something to do with imagining scary creatures lurking in the nooks and corners around. He finally confessed the other day that anything dark scares him very much. So when he mentioned that he was scared of ghosts, goblins, and monsters because he thought they were real, I reasoned with him and asked him why he thought so. Had he ever seen them anywhere? As an adult, I know they aren’t. The situation helped me to understand my predicament. In a way, just as his thoughts get reinforced by the emotions that go with them, so was my mind, reinforced by my recurring worries, pushing me into a downward spiral of unhappy thoughts.
The realisation came, that if my thoughts begin to change, I will feel better. And if I act rationally, despite what I feel, things will begin to look up. After my usual 3 km walk, I did all the chores at home, that needed attending to. This time, I decided to deal with my writers block once more. I actually wrote down my thoughts, as they came flowing. Some of them made sense and some did not. But, what it made me realise was that unhappiness cannot exist on its own. It occurs because of thoughts, which can be changed. Was I able to change the course of those despairing thoughts? Perhaps.
The not-so-happy experience from yesterday is now over and gone. But, if I don’t move on, it continues to exist. Today is a new day, a better day, and worrying about the past just dooms my present. It’s how you process it now that makes a difference.
Realising this has certainly helped. The fact that we all have a choice, makes us realize what we’re doing to ourselves. The need of the hour is to get up, find a distraction, and do something interesting or positive. I made a sketch of the Buddha and wrote this post out of my current train of thoughts. Something is surely better than nothing!
Some days are difficult. They make us appreciate our good days. And when I say to myself, This too shall pass, my heart feels lighter, already.
There is so much in life that I am unable to control. Today, I’m tapping into my inner peace and drawing strength for myself because I really want to be happy.
(Linking this post to EverydayGyaan’s #Monday Musings)