April was a cruel month, in many ways!
It arrived, rather unassumingly, while I was busy making lots of lovely plans for myself, while the boys, i.e., the husband and the son, left for the Andamans for a 9-day break. Last month. this time, I was recovering from a nasty bout of migraine that had landed me in hospital in the last week of March. There were plans galore to create art, so my sketch books were pulled out and kept ready, while the reading list waited by the desk, beside the journal, beckoning me to write my heart away.
What I didn’t know then, was that the Universe had other plans!
One fine morning, as I was about to get started on writing a reflective piece that I’d been pondering upon for some time, I spotted a roach which sent me into a tizzy. In the days to follow, I single-handedly set upon a massive decluttering drive in our home, especially as the boys were away and making the best use of this golden opportunity to throw away the junk that the husband and the son had amassed in the last few years, since we had moved into our new home three years ago. After a week of back-breaking work, finally, every nook, corner and cranny in the home was spanking clean and I was left with a grin wider than that of the cheshire cat!
I was eager to get back to my reading list by now, finishing two books in three days. Somehow, the sketches never got done. The art books waited patiently, and my laptop sat silently, waiting for me to tap away the words that somehow eluded me.
The boys arrived from their holiday one Saturday, in the second week of April and two days later, at the dead of night, a messenger arrived at our door at 3:30 in the night, bringing the news of my father-in-law’s sudden passing. This happened, while we were yet to process the shocking news of my maternal uncle being diagnosed with high-grade cancer (himself a doctor!) that had just come a few days earlier.
Death and bereavement brought with it a whole host of related issues that we had to navigate, alongside shuttling between Bangalore and Ahmedabad. Whilst dealing with the absolute necessities, one morning, my mom-in-law had to be suddenly rushed to the ICU for what seemed like a heart attack, but thankfully, turned out to be otherwise. Meanwhile, my mom, who lives with me here in Bangalore, and who suffers from Vertigo, accidentally had a fall. The month ended with two weeks of intense mental and emotional pressure for all of us, leaving us utterly exhausted, as we paused to catch our breath after what felt like a terrible roller-coaster ride!!!
I hope and pray that the month of May brings relief and positive energy back into our lives. The son is gearing up for his exams as he battles acute anxiety, and I’m slowly easing back into my regular routine, trying to bring back a semblance of normalcy for everyone at home. There are two octogenarians at home now—the two mothers, who are both frail and need constant support and care in different ways, especially, emotionally and physically. The husband and I are doing our best, taking care of everything, while I continue to remind him everyday, that we must never forget to fill our own cups before we fill that of the others.
May is my birthday month and May is and will always continue to remain special for me. I look forward to the coming days, with a lot of hope and eagerness, to fulfil the promises I made for myself in April, even as I juggle a host of responsibilities. Self-care will always be sacrosanct for me and so will my writing and my quiet time be—and despite the challenges that continue to come my way, I shall look forward to living my days as mindfully as possible, savouring every moment and this life, as best as I can.
What are your plans for May? Do share them and if you are visiting me today, also please leave your post link in the comments, so I can visit you back. I promise to catch up on reading each one of you in the coming days.
Wishing you a beautiful week ahead.
Much love, hugs and happy vibes,