Photo source: Pexels. Image by Skylar Kang
It has been pouring continuously in Bangalore for the past few weeks…incessant downpour, slow, gentle drizzles alternating with sharp slanting sprays of white…and an almost unending stretch of grey along the skyline, looming with overbearing dark clouds, threatening to tear apart the skies any minute.
In between work schedules and meetings, I’ve been watching the sky at different times through the day and it feels that the dankness is slowly seeping into my cells, so much so, that my soul is super-saturated now and all I desperately long for, are blue skies and sunshine! Even the very thought of a respite from the dull weather feels so refreshing and uplifting.
Today, for a brief couple of minutes, the sun did come out and it was so wonderful to see the veil of grey lifting up and a warm glow filtering in through the window. But it was gone in minutes.
Lately, I’ve been finding myself stuck in a rut, feeling totally uninspired, and unable to reclaim my joie de vivre! Over the past couple of months, my writing practice had become a distant memory, overshadowed by the daily grind. In my heart though, I knew there was a quiet, transformative power in picking up the pen again, much like the calming act of watching the rain. So, I resolved to resume with my practice of free writing with daily journaling. As I mentioned in my earlier post, teaming up with a friend ensured I stayed on track. But, there was yet another thing that troubled me.
How could I come out of the rut? The one inside my head. The extreme inertia and an overwhelming sense of exhaustion was something that had become all too overbearing for me to escape. Something had to be done.
As a necessary first step, I realised that I had to begin by acknowledging my situation. It’s easy to brush off feelings of stagnation as mere phases, but recognizing that you’re stuck is crucial. This awareness forced me to shift towards making certain changes. Of course, it’s not been easy at all. Giving up clearly was no option. The days I dreaded the most were the days when nothing seemed to move—as if my mind was paralysed. One day, I picked up my notepad and began to reflect on my daily routines, to identify areas where I felt uninspired and unfulfilled. A couple of days later, suddenly, I felt a tiny spark—yes, a creative spark, more like, if I may say so. I wanted to write something.
It’s interesting how inspiration often comes from the simplest of moments. Like, maybe watching the rain, for instance, can be a profound source of creative fuel. And so, despite the fact that I detested the weather, I found myself drawn to the sound of raindrops tapping against the window. Who knew that all it would take was the fresh scent of earth, and the sight of water dancing on leaves to evoke deep emotions and long buried memories.
These moments became my prompts for journaling.
And as I wrote, somehow the words began to appear one after another. The blank page no longer intimidated me since then, even though I might have been mulling over the possible topics to write on.
The rain comes and goes, sometimes in gentle drizzles and sometimes pounding the doors and windows as the wind blows. Watching the faint skyline in the distance, I feel a hint of joy within me, despite the greyness—for having pulled myself out of the rut—to have come out from that black hole where everything vanishes out of sight.
Amidst the humdrum pitter patter of the rain, I’m slowly beginning to find my voice and my rhythm again. Writing happens easily on certain days and refuses to come at others. I am just grateful that I’m able to write again, after what seemed like a long deafening silence.
What I really enjoy doing these days is showing up at my writing desk. The rest, for the moment, is irrelevant.
P.S. A sincere request to each of you—please do follow me on X, if you still haven’t. That is how I can share all your wonderful posts, dear friends! Big thanks in advance!
Wishing you all a blessed week ahead.
You said it before, I’m saying it now – I’m going through the exact same thing!
Also like you, I’m slowly finding solace in journaling and a writing prompt here and there. For now, I blame the Bangalore weather for the ennui we are feeling 😀
Writing came easily to me before it didn’t! I am glad you came out of it and started your creative journey after a brief stop. I am struggling with the dreaded writer’s block for a while now. Your post is refreshing and honest, lovely.
There is a writing prompt hiding even in the dullest of weather or heaviest of moment, isn’t it? The difference between that moment passing by and getting captured as words on our notebook depends on us showing up in front of the blank page. I refuse to believe that you were in a rut of any sort, Esha. You write beautifully, that’s what you are for me. No ruts.
Keep writing. 🤍🤍
It’s been pouring and pouring here as well. For almost a week there was no let up. Ans I can understand those slow grey days. I call them my bail gaadi days (bullock cart days) , where everything is sluggish.
I am glad you are showing up for your writing. That’s all it needs for your muse to return from wherever she has flown off.
When I read other people’s blogs, it inspires me to write as well. So I’m really looking forward to reading more blog posts from you.
I love reading your posts, Esha. You may feel you repeat yourself in every post, but your every post is new to me and such a huge lesson in writing with honesty and passion. There is a poetic quality to your writing that I hope to develop over time. I am glad you found your passion, your voice and the will to write despite the darkness around you. Keep it up, my dear. Keep writing and inspiring!
Isn’t it strange how we find something or the other to grumble about the weather? I know I do! 😉
But I’m glad you turned the cloudy days into prompts. When you don’t have to venture out of the house, rainy days can be fun! ♥
Your posts, Esha, are always true to the name of your blog. Each time I read them I feel like you’re truly baring your soul. So much honesty! I am ever so glad you could pull yourself out of the rut. I hope you come to enjoy the rain at some point. I find the summer heat so sapping that each cloudy day I wake up to, seems like a blessing. But I also understand how dark and overcast days can become depressing.