Lately, I’ve been finding myself having to deal with a toxic person that has been taking its toll on my mind. The teen passed his tenth board exams with flying colours and the family was in a joyous mood to celebrate his success, which we did, last weekend.
However, in the presence of a particular person who has now come to live with us, it has become very difficult to restore the everyday rhythm of our lives, leaving us dispirited and exhausted. Our quiet mornings have been disrupted and our reading nooks have been invaded by endless meaningless chatter! Nothing feels the same anymore.
During this time, I’ve also been experiencing a lot of negative energy in our home that has been affecting my system from the core. I can’t find the root cause and eliminate it despite my repeated attempts to do so. Feeling increasingly helpless, I’m now struggling with a couple of health issues too and this has totally upset my inner equilibrium.
I am tired, anxious, irritable and wish to go into my shell, every time I see this person.
My workouts aren’t regular and I’m struggling with my daily meditations too. But more than that, the situation has been weighing on my mind, because I know I need to find a better way to deal with it, such that I feel protected from being influenced by their toxicity. And it’s not just me alone. I can see the effect it’s been causing on the other members of the family too.
As the first step, I’ve decided to detach myself from the person concerned and have now limited the time I spend with them to the bare minimum. For years, I was the person who could never bring herself to do this, but today, I have no qualms cutting myself off from negative people when the first distress signals are sounded by my mind and body.
As I do so, I’m utterly grateful to the Universe for helping me find the support and resources to protect myself.
We should never ever have to put up with people who suck out every ounce of positive energy from within us. It’s taken me years to realise this but now, I know if I need to protect myself, I must learn to be selfish—self-care must never be dispensable.
In all of this, I remind myself once more, why it is important to establish and maintain boundaries so that we don’t get pushed into situations we don’t wish to be a part of.
While I know that I’ll still go all out to take care of my loved ones, I also make sure that I always give my own well-being the topmost priority every single day of the week.
“I lied and said I was busy.
I was busy;
but not in a way most people understand.
I was busy taking deeper breaths.
I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.
I was busy calming a racing heart.
I was busy telling myself I am okay.
Sometimes, this is my busy –
and I will not apologize for it.”
― Brittin Oakman