A Leaf Out Of My Parenting Diary

Yesterday, our young man turned 18! The little boy of yesterday is now a thoughtful young man, with dreams of his own, readying himself to step into the world in a few years’ time.

Interestingly, a couple of days back, this beautiful card popped up from a folder, while I was rummaging through our card collection from over the years. It was, of course, carefully kept as a keep sake from the time when we had just arrived home from the hospital as first-time parents to our little bundle of joy!

A flashback took me back into the early years and needless to say, it was a deeply emotional ride, as I recalled every little milestone we enjoyed, seeing our little one taking baby steps from learning to stand on his two tiny feet to becoming a personality that has been uniquely his own. The years have since just flown by!

Eighteen years of being a mother has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride! So much of learning, unlearning and re-learning, if I may say so, with complete honesty!

It has been quite an experience learning to navigate through motherhood, interspersed with all the slip ups one could ever imagine. And that was not all. There were the errors, the trials, and the faltering steps, not to mention the frequent setbacks, followed by the inner chiding that led to guilt, heartaches and tears. All this and so much more, but certainly not without the fair share of warm bear hugs, countless joys, precious smiles and those happy accidents that happened along the way. The many unaccounted moments of little wins, the countless beautiful surprises along the way, the victories that we often tend to overlook and the acknowledgements…it has truly been a mixed bag of experiences!

Parenting has only taken me closer to understanding myself better. Realising my purpose and reminding myself over and over again that I exist as an individual as well. Parenting has taught me to see my own parents in a new light and feel deeply indebted and more appreciative of everything that they did and still continue to do for us.

Parenting has been truly humbling for me, in more ways than I could count on my fingers.

The funny thing is, every time I thought I cracked it, parenting has brought newer challenges before me. And now, eighteen years later, I STILL find myself faltering, questioning my decisions, STILL trying to figure things out, on the go.

Having figured this out now, all I can say is, while the self-doubts as a parent will possibly remain until the very last day of my life, I’d be lying to myself if I deny this beautiful, exciting, exhilarating experience that I’ve had, this far, of being a mom to this amazing human who continues to make us proud of who he is, whilst giving us countless reasons to cherish the time we spend together as a family, through the ups and downs of life. 

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Written as part of our #SoulfulSunday free writing exercise, along with my friends Vinitha and Shilpa.
Also linking up with Monday Musings hosted by Corinne at Everyday Gyaan.

7 thoughts

  1. Loved these glimpses of your parenting journey. There were so many things that struck a chord — Parenting has only taken me closer to understanding myself better — This is something that I have come to realise too. Looking at yourself through your children’s eyes is a whole different experience. This was a great read Esha.
    Happy birthday to the young man.

  2. Aww, this is such a beautiful theme Esha! Happy Birthday young man, may you have all the happiness, luck and peace in life 😀

  3. Wishing the young man a happy 18th. Every parent strives to do their best, and we do despite making so many mistakes
    I am sure he is a well turned out man! So very happy for you. Hugs!

  4. What a beautiful read, Esha. Happy 18th to your handsome young man and to you.
    I agree with you, Esha – parenting is learning on the go. Often we are presented with soul-draining challenges in this journey, but it also offers some soul-filling moments to cherish forever too. Arjyo is blessed to have you as his mom and I am sure he knows that. 💕💕

  5. Happy Birthday Arjyo . You were 3 when I first shook hands with you .Gosh 15 years just flew by , making it look like but a passing moment !
    Wishing you a million days that reflect the possibilities you see and may your heart always find what it’s looking for . Blessings young man !
    And Esha your thoughts resonate . Parenting isn’t always like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and warm milk. As moms we will continue to represent the full messy spectrum of humanity .. complete with our dreams & defeats ,ambitions & angst,fetishes & flaws, compassion & charisma and some ! I need you to know that I have yet to meet parents who were this committed . I’ve always admired you and J for seamlessly managing work , home , family , raising a child , social commitments and more ! Take a bow my girl 🌸🧡💙🌺❤️💕💕💕

  6. Wishing Arjyo a happy birthday, and wishing you, too, a happy 18th birthday, Esha, coz a mother is born when the child is born! 🙂
    Lovely to read about your motherhood journey Esha <3

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