Monday mornings come and go. Some days they bring me that zest for life and a spurt of enthusiasm that sweeps over all crippling doubts, filling me with new hope.
Yesterday, somebody just did the opposite. Remember how they say people transfer their energy onto you when they interact with you. Well, somebody just didn’t feel good about themselves or their life and dumped all their negativity onto me. I did resist and I did my best to ward it off but it only came in greater volumes and finally, by the time I called it a day, those replayed in my head for so long that I was laden with all the weight of those harsh words, and cruel thoughts weighing me down to the point that I struggled hard to sleep. I must have stayed up way past midnight.
When I was up with a heavy head this morning, it was as if a 10 kg helmet had been forced onto my head and I had no choice but to sink into the quicksand. And, so it would have been. But, of course, I chose not to fight the inner demons. I relied on my inner calm to pull me up, slowly and surely. It took me a while but I chose happy thoughts and the beautiful view outside my window to lift me into my usual optimistic self again.
Little raging battles often happen inside our head, away from the prying eyes of people around us and yet, how strong these are, because they make or mar a great start to the day. They lift our sagging spirits and teach us why our words —the ones we say to ourselves— are so important to us. We can talk ourselves out of negativity and bring in an aura of light into our world, if only we develop an inner calm within us. It can be very powerful to keep the outer storms at bay and help us introspect how we are capable of changing our thoughts, feelings and emotions in a very powerful way.
This was all about emotional pain. This came after three intense days of physical pain over the weekend—yes, I had another severe migraine bout that kept me sick day and night, as if life itself were on hold. Since my regular medicines didn’t work, I even went to see a holistic therapist on Saturday who gave me something that only partially helped. As anyone who suffers from migraine will know, one is absolutely incapable of leading a normal life when in the throes of this pain. Life itself comes to a standstill.
With a painful vision that made reading from a smartphone screen extremely difficult, I struggled but eventually figured out a set of medicines that could potentially work. In the midst of the throbbing pain, I walked into a homeopathy store and picked up the said medicine and took a dose. An hour later, I was much better. By the end of the afternoon, I was almost headache-free and thrilled that my own medication perhaps helped me more than anything else. I cannot describe the joy I felt knowing that I had the power to cure myself of something that even the doctors had failed to. I guess that’s because its not just me—we all undermine our capabilities all the time. Why do we need to run to others to help us when all we need is to tap into ourselves and find out the answers? Why, time and again, do we seek validation for what we do?
Can you see how all this while, I was in pain, I was feeling helpless? The pain, compounded with my inability to handle the severity of it, made worse by the fact that my life seemed to be totally out of my control, all made me—yes, understandably upset—about the situation and about myself.
Isn’t that we always do? We angrily question how unfair life is or why we don’t change. We fight the current situation, bringing on feelings of distress about our pain. Actually, this dilemma is so common that the Buddhists long ago reduced it to a formula: Pain x Resistance = Suffering. Translation: Fighting against (or resisting) the reality of the pain in our life creates suffering. So, instead of fighting the reality, accepting it and doing something about it helps. We all have our battles that we are fighting everyday. Some within us and some outside, some with the world around us and some against our inner selves. The key is to take the control back into our own hands and see how we can help ourselves or effect the change we wish to see.
Another start to the week and I’m sure you and I have things that need working on and plenty to tackle at both personal and work fronts. Let us keep our inner calm and work at whatever it is that gets in the way of our progress today, be it small or big. Let us keep trusting in our capabilities and believe in who we are and who we can ever be. Work in progress, alright— but capable, that is what we are—no matter how flawed or imperfect we are still the most powerful because we alone can make the difference. Yes, we can.
Have a great Monday, everyone.
Linking to #mondaymusings hosted by Corinne
and #mg hosted by Mackenzie Glanville
I am hoping that you are better now, and I am so glad that homoeopathy has worked for you. (being a homoeopath it always feel great when tiny globules show their results) , coming to post, it is as usual so touching and I had felt each and every emotion you had expressed. hats off to you for keeping this inspiring approach and loved the thought to keep our inner selves calm and peaceful. I am also working on the same thing since last few days, and I agree it works and helps a lot in dealing with anxiety and uncontrolled thought process.
Oh thank you Surbhi! Homeopathy has been my saviour! I wish I had come to it earlier in my life. So much of medication that I’ve been taking over the years would have been unnecessary. So glad that my post touched a chord in you my friend! I can tell you it has taken me years to find my inner calm and now I tell everyone how this is within each one of us to tap into in our moments of doubt and despair. I really wish you find peace through focusing on the inner calm.
I know the kind of peeps you are talking about; infact I was composing my next monday musings on those lines too. Some peeps are just so full of negativity and are a drain to talk/meet! I keep on trying to eliminate them from my life as and when I can.
More power to you for curing yourself; I can empathise with the helplessness Esha though have never (touchwood) experienced migrane yet. I guess deep down we all have our cures/happy place and thats where we need to dig into , to come out smiling! Hope the migranes stay at bay for sometime now! Hugs
Tapping into our inner calm really helps to ground us and make us see that we are powerful beyond measure, doesn’t it? Often we don’t realise our own inner light, and suffer needlessly.
You’re right, Shinjini. It takes some time before we realise this but once we do, it is so liberating!
Good that homeopathy worked for your migraine. Yes, sometimes, we alone are enough to make a difference.
Yes, Ramya. We are seeing some very good results with homeopathy for all three of us in the family. Btw, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. 🙂
I feel like giving you a tight hug. Negativity can bog us down even more than illness. But so happy to read on how you found a solution yourself. I like the approach, to feel all the emotions and then work towards making ourselves better.
Take care Esha, hope you feel better soon.
Thanks a lot, Raj. Sometimes, it feels good to know that I’m on the right track with how I’m dealing with a whole lot of unpleasant things and not really letting them affect me, something that used to affect me very badly for days on end. Thanks dear for your wishes…feeling better already …Warm hugs right back at you, my friend!
What you have said makes immense sense as to whatever happens outside, our inner balance, our inner calm only has the power to lift us up. And, it is easier said than done. While it can be easy to wane off someone else’s negativity when it is solely about them and not directed at us but when that someone who is not happy with his/her life points finger at us, not just points a finger but also spits out venom, then it is the actual test. 10 kgs helmet, I understand.
At the same time, Esha, can I ask why it has to be a fight all the time? Will assuming, visualizing and believing that we have no struggles to deal with, inside and outside, will it help to create the stillness?
Toughening up inside and cultivating that inner climate of peace happens over a lifetime, from picking up the pieces of our lives over numerous hurts, heartbreaks and agonising moments. I do not know how to imagine that there is no struggle inside and outside…at the moment, I’m inundated with all kinds of emotional outbreaks and from various people all of whom are fighting their own battles but, these heavy emotions seem to come to me for some reason, perhaps becauseI try to empathise with everyone and try to understand things to help them out rather than keep to myself and enjoy my inner calm. I did not know how much capacity I have to take in other people’s storms into myself until very recently. Still learning, as they say! And still a work in progress! Thats me.
Sometimes when I feel myself drawing negativity or anxiety from within myself, I say to that part of myself, “I know you’re there. Thank you for coming, but I don’t need or want you right now.” Sometimes it helps.
Wow! That’s nice. Will try it sometime and see if it works for me. 🙂
As someone who once suffered from terrible migraines I can understand your pain. And its good to see that you face it stoically and with positivity. One day they will vanish as did mine. I used to try and visualise the pain and then ‘grab’ it and throw it out. Sound weird? But with medication, darkened rooms and visualisation they slowly lessened and now are a thing of the past. Or perhaps I have so much happening in my life that I have no time for a headache 😉
I love those last two lines. In my case, they still come for me even when I’ve my hands full. Will try your visualization technique though mine is too severe and even doctors have kind of given up after their meds have failed. Alternative therapy thankfully still works.
Do you wear dark glasses at home ? That helps wearing glares at all times
No I don’t like to wear dark glasses Sunita. I draw in the curtains and keep the rooms dark…basically whichever room I am going to be in! Helps keep the light at bay!
Life is all about the ups and downs and there is no one solution to how we ride the storms. We each do it in our own way. But yes calm and self belief will take us a long way to getting through the difficult times. Good post.
Thanks Suzy. Glad to see you stopping by after a long time. Feels nice to know you think the same too!
I appreciate that irrespective of your mental and physical agony, you could write such a beautiful post and uplift the spirits of others. I am myself going through a stressful time and can absolutely empathise with you. Love and hugs Di..I hope your migraine is better now.
Thanks Tina. Yes, migraine is better thankfully and although I’m not entirely in a happy state, I’m more accepting of things that are not going right one way or the other. I wish things improve at your end and you feel better soon. Hugs
I can empathise with you…I think we are on the same boat…hugs to you too…get well soon… be happy😘😘
Yes. Thx re 💕💕