There is a famous quote by Aristotle Onassis, that says—
In the darkest of times, we must focus to see the light.”
Currently, I do not know what to make of that.
Why?
Because, one can’t see any light. Is it just the cynical old me or is it really getting too dark for light to even filter through? Truth is I don’t know.
Some days, I feel the world will change for the better and things will improve, contrary to my belief, and a part of me still fervently hopes that the cynical me is proven wrong. Most days, though, I feel a gnawing sense of frustration and despair—as if we are doomed…and nothing is ever going to change. Especially for us, women!
The aftermath of the horrific sexual assault and death of a trainee doctor in Kolkata has shaken us to the core. It’s been tough navigating through the maze of mixed emotions and finding ways to release the rage and agony seeing how women are increasingly becoming victims of vicious sexual crimes. In the very same week when this horrific incident took place, there were a couple of other extremely violent and disturbing attacks being carried out on little girls and women in other parts of the country.
It seems and rightly so, that no woman is safe in this country.
Where, for God’s sake are we all headed to? What is wrong with the men? Where does so much anger towards women come from? Why are they so intent on hurting, maiming and violating women? And why does the law let them get away, despite the brutality and the extremely gruesome nature of the crimes? Why are women targeted always? Why? And why are little girls targeted? Why are the state machineries and institutions failing so miserably, to stop such incidents from happening over and over and over again? Why? Why??
There are plenty of questions but no answers.
Anger, disgust, fear and shock has hit us all over again ever since the Nirbhaya incident happened. That was 2012, twelve years ago. All these years later, absolutely nothing has changed. Women are and continue to be easy prey. Attacks on women continue unabated. Very few are actually reported. Most of them are hushed and shoved under the carpet. Voices are stifled and cries are ignored. In the end, most women who fall victim do not even make it to the statistics!
Thanks to the patriarchal society we live in, that conveniently raises her on a pedestal one day and slut-shames her the next—there seems to be no middle path, where she is accepted as a human being.
Does it matter? No, it doesn’t. Nobody cares!
As a woman, I wonder:
When will we women be safe?
In the same breath, I also ask:
When shall we stop living in fear? When shall we feel safe in our homes? Or in the workplace? Or feel safe enough to walk on the street without worrying about predators lurking around?
Like the hundreds and thousands of people who have taken to the streets marching and protesting for truth and justice to prevail, I too am praying for the fight to continue. I hope we all find at least some of the answers to our questions and we wish to see the guilty are identified and stringently punished.
And when that happens, I hope it sends out a strong message into the world, for anyone who ever dares to think of assaulting a woman ever again.
In the last few days, there’s been a lot of rhetoric around women’s safety and I have one concern though—that in the process of ensuring safety I hope we women are not pushed back into the confines of the four walls, from where we have fought so hard to come out.
We certainly can not and should not be regressing into the dark ages simply because the world does not feel like a safe place for us anymore.
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What are your thoughts on this? Would love to hear from you, if you are willing to share your opinion.
The same questions keep going round and round in my head. The despair is palpable. I don’t know what to do or even if we can do anything to make a difference. I am going to keep writing and let my anger flow through my words because that is the only thing I know to do.
I don’t think you are cynical. I was once a happy twenty something, confident that world would change, and women will live better lives and see justice. I used to find older people pessimistic… now I am that old person. At some point in my journey I even stopped writing about women and their struggles. We are descending as a human race.
I wish I had an answer to that question: When will women be safe? What happened in Calcutta and Badlapur is heartbreaking. I wonder what drives men to such cruelty! There must be something essentially faulty in the upbringing of our sons. Women have made so much progress over the past decades, it’s time for the men to catch up now.