If We Were Having Coffee

Image source: Valeria Miller

If we were keeping our coffee date and sitting in our favourite cafe, listening to the strains of soft Jazz on the piano, playing in the background, I’d tell you how much I’ve been looking forward to our meeting this time.

It’s been a while since I last met up with a friend and had some down time catching up and connecting over coffee.

Sounds simple, right, to meet a friend over coffee? Well, it used to be, until a few years back, but now, it’s impossible to find that friend who’s free to take the time out and join you! Everyone’s busy, we catch up on brief calls if at all, and only meet virtually, and while I love my own company and enjoy my solitude, there are moments when I wish I could meet a friend face to face.

The longing for a human company is real, though!

So, if we met, I’d tell you how tough the week has been for me, juggling work, chores, hospital visits, health conditions, and things like that amidst low energy and living life running from station to station, at breakneck speed, silently counting the days for a pause to come soon!

I’d also tell you how I’ve been thinking of heading out into the wilderness for a break, because that one thought has kept me going—a trip to some place quiet, where I’d unwind and come back recharged and rejuvenated! You won’t believe it, I’m so ready I could pack my bags and leave right NOW, if I could! 😄

And, while I’d share all this, I’d also ask you how life has been treating you lately and if things have been good with life in general and work and what about all those wonderful plans that you had spoken about, when we last chatted at the start of the year. As much as I’d love to hear all about your wins, and the wonderful surprises that life has thrown your way, in equal measure, I hope you’d also open up about the things that would have kept you up at night—things that we often bury deep down into the crevices of our hearts until it aches terribly and we bleed and tear up in silence reaching the end of our tether…I hope we can always remain that honest and open with one another!

Tell me, have things been going as per plan or did life hijack them and make you wonder how to claim your life back? Because, that’s what has happened to me over the past few weeks. I’ve tried to exercise but my knees got sore again. The pain came back with a vengeance and I struggled to continue with the daily walk. Writing too got buried underneath the to-do list and blogging…well, lets say, I wasn’t able to publish my posts as planned.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that despite showing up everyday, I’ve actually been feeling low on the inside, lacking in enthusiasm or the drive—you know that empty feeling, right? Yes, pretty much that, While I know this could well be a passing phase, I do wish at times, that life were a pack of cards, that one could reshuffle and reset things, so one could get back to one’s pace, with renewed enthusiasm and energy!

Do I sound tired? Maybe, I do. If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve started avoiding social gatherings and parties where superficially rules and there are no heartfelt conversations or soul to soul connections. I’ve stayed away from such gatherings for a long time and lately I’ve realised that one part of me does wish to find a tribe that would have like-minded people, engaging in meaningful, genuine conversations!

Wishful thinking, you say? I know, I know!

If we were having coffee, I’d share how I find myself retreating into a shell every now and then…that, sometimes I’m unable to process the emptiness, sometimes, unable to unwind from the endless chores and sometimes, grapple with feelings of confusion about life in general…some days, I end up wondering why we humans have come to live like islands, isolated and cut off from the mainland, with no desire to connect with one another! So paradoxical, isn’t it, in these times of 24×7 connectivity?

And perhaps, through all this unburdening and baring of our souls, through the pangs of loneliness and disconnection shared, you and I—we could perhaps, both, find a few moments of bliss and comradeship; maybe share a few laughs and some silly jokes too, and those much-needed words of reassurance and understanding to come back feeling more whole and humane—enough to come back lighter and happier, and more accepting of ourselves.

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And, now, tell me, dear reader, have you met with someone over coffee lately? How was your experience? Looking forward to catching up on your updates and wishing you a great month ahead in March!

May this new month see you bloom in all the ways that you aspire to, may life treat you kind, may you find ample opportunities for growth and self care and may you find those moments to savour with the loved ones and friends and have a blissful March!

Take care and see you soon.