Finding oneself!

             ‘We must lose our way if we are to find ourselves again.’


Life is not always easy. No matter how big and important we are, life can get very painful and messed up many a times. It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes, we are clueless about where to go or what to do. These are the moments when we say, we are truly lost, with feeble chances of ever knowing if we are going to get back on track again.

As we lose ourselves, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss, it seems more than ever before, that we have fallen into an endless pit of despair and dejection. But, it is precisely, then, that we should push through every door that hurts us, knocking down the walls that come up before us as barriers, and walk we must then past all our hurt, our pain, our failures and through all those damning memories that continue to haunt us to salvage our lives and thrive through it all.

Ironically, most often, the things that hurt us, are also the things that make us the strongest. These life-changing situations change our innermost core, turning us into mature individuals, seasoned enough to take on life’s volleys at any random order.

Frankly, having had my fair share of the ‘slings and arrows’ of an outrageous fortune through a major part of life, I’ve had to oscillate between various options before realising my own calling in life and finding my own deliverance. Sometimes this has meant going against the grain and refusing to conform, or taking the road less travelled, instead of the well-beaten path to find my way through the unchartered terrains. Every rough encounter has taught me something useful, that has finally shaped me into the person I am today. No qualms to admit, therefore, that my learning from the School of Hard Knocks has been absolutely invaluable – something that a sheltered and cushioned life could never have given!

As to the question about what it has taught me? Well…a lot really! I look at things in a very different light! And that makes me see a lot of things that I would earlier often fail to catch…! In the process of planning and measuring out our future, we often forget to live the day as it comes…the minutes…the moments…the here….and the now! I try and make the most of it now….I laugh more in the face of adversity, and leap before I look; sometimes marching to the beat of my own drums and sometimes as I earlier said, stubbornly refusing to fit in. There are times when loneliness wraps me up in itself like a warm blanket, giving me solace and peace within. I see it as a gift today – for it gives me the opportunity to know my real self; to learn how strong I really am, and to look within for contentment. For only when I am happy will I be able to give others happiness. Only when I’m positive will I be able to spread positivity around.

Adversity, pain and tough times do often go a long way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and more thoughtful person of us!

It is easy to get lost, but the glory is in finding oneself!


If you want to find the trail, if you want to find yourself, you must explore your dreams alone. You must grow at a slow pace in a dark cocoon of loneliness so you can fly like the wind, like wings, when you awaken.”  ― Francesca Lia Block, Dangerous Angels                                               

This post was written for the Write Tribe Festival of Words #4 for Day7.

12 thoughts

  1. I reached here through the link Corinne posted in the Write Tribe today. This has been my story. I wonder many a times how dependent on others would I have continued to be if not for the battles I waged, battles which were completely senseless to those on the receiving end but extremely important to me for my own reasons. But battles always end up in creating deep abyss for the warring parties. I got to know about myself more as a result of negativity and lonliness. And then I ask – Is it necessary to go through utter negativity to become immensely positive about life? Are battles necessary to claim peace?

    1. Thanks so much for visiting Soul Talk, Anamika! Been out of action for so long that I feel totally left out of the scene! Words elude me and I’m still waiting for my muse to strike me on my head with a hammer (yes :D) and get me to write anything at all. Btw, which post on Write Tribe carried the link to this one (just curious to know as this is actually an old post)?
      I understand the predicament that people face when they wage battles against the forces around them. It is tough, a drain to one’s peace but perhaps needed in a given situation to serve one’s purpose in order to achieve an end. I too wonder why and then realise that it takes just a little more courage to elevate one’s life from negativity to take it towards positivity…sometimes utter negativity shows us what not to be…and that is when we gravitate towards the positive. In my case, I can definitely say that battles were needed to claim peace. What about yours? Are you happy being where you are now?

  2. Soul Talk Very well written. The saddest songs are the most soulful. Difficulties in life make you appreciate the finer side.If the shoe does not pinch, we do not know the what pleasure we get after removing them. If life was all pleasure, where would have all the pains gone.
    Agar Duniya Chaman hoti to Virane Kahan Jate.

    1. Absolutely true…the difficult days don’t always last, but what they teach us, often does…! Thanks again for the appreciation Mr Mandan! I must share with you a well-known Chinese proverb that just validates this thought – “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.”

    1. Thank you so much Samparna…so glad it echoed to you…and yes, read yours and loved it! How strange and wonderful to find you talk in a similar vein 🙂

  3. It took me a lot of years of living to realize that the experiences that were the most painful were also the ones that made us grow the most. I love the quote you shared from Arthur Miller. Most of us will have regrets when it is our time to leave life, and I can only hope my regrets are the right ones.

    1. Thanks Alana. Yes, looking back I too feel that we learn the most from the most painful ones. And yet, every effort should lead us to live life despite those odds!

  4. I like to put it this way – one can get the inspiration from outside but the motivation has to come from within to achieve greater heights. That’s when we realize our true potential.

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