Being Kind to Oneself



“You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. Be kind to yourself.”



I don’t know who said that.

But I go with it as if it were the very air on which my life depends.

And why not?

Ultimately, the talk we have with ourselves does matter for the longest possible time. It’s true we grow up hearing the voices of those that nurture us and help us grow, but after the formative years are over, our own voice finds a place of great significance and from then onwards, what we say and how we say directs the things we do, which together, shape us to be the individuals who we eventually turn out to be as adults.

Self-talk is indeed very crucial.

Throughout the day, be it consciously, or unconsciously, there is a tendency running in all of us to keep a running dialogue with ourselves. Be it our reflections on life, or the situations we find ourselves in, there is that opportunity we all get, to fill the hours with self-talk, which can be either positive or negative and sometimes, a mix of both. So much so, that our approach to our life is coloured in the exact shades of our repeated self-talks.

Life is a great teacher, and one of the many lessons that yours truly has learnt, (courtesy, the School of Hard Knocks!) in all these years is that our circumstances are neither good nor bad. It is how we label them that they appear to be good or bad. When the pandemic hit us last year, I was flummoxed, in more ways than I’d anticipated. Anger, resentment, confusion, bitterness, worry, anxiety, negativity all followed right after, to give me company. I battled with my negative self-talk on days when I felt overwhelmed. It sapped my energy and left me with little hope. But, thanks to the beauty of the life lessons, that came my way, I realised the Universe had plans for me, that I knew nothing about. Slowly, I came to realise that change was inevitable. Thus began a new journey of self-discovery.

Change brings uncertainty. But, it also fuels growth. Wisdom comes in many ways. I’ve learnt to keep my heart and soul open to new learnings. I’m learning to heal myself from within. I’m learning to understand my place in the grand scheme of things. I’m learning to manifest my intentions through art, writing and my everyday actions. Most of all, I’m learning to dance to the tunes of the Universe.

Nobody said it’s going to be easy. There is this energy that I’m learning to harness as a way of understanding how to raise myself to a higher level of consciousness. One step at a time is my mantra!

Every day I tell myself this one thing—

“There’s no better time than now to do all that you want to do.”

And there’s no better thing to start with, than learning to be kind on oneself.



Written as part of our #SoulfulSunday freewriting exercise—a concept ideated by Vinitha, Shilpa and yours truly.


8 thoughts

  1. Absolutely agree with you, Esha. Self-talk is crucial. Our self-talk can make or break us.
    And yes, the act of kindness start within us. If we can’t be kind to us, how can we be kind to others? And even if we do show kindness to others without showing it us, then what’s the point?
    We know this, but we end up doing the opposite sometimes. Thank you for the reminder, Esha. 🧡

    1. Glad to share this, Vinitha! There is no better time than now to start being kind to ourselves. A small but significant step to a bigger goal, right?

  2. I read that very quote this morning and smiled at the Universe for reminding me, yet again. I made self-love my intention for 2021 after treating myself really bad last year. I do remember it, but there are times when certain hurtful words by others keep playing on my mind and then I forget these golden words.
    And, now your post!
    Thanks for this beautiful post, Esha!
    I do hope self-love helps us look at ourselves in a new light and fill our life with happiness.

    1. Thanks so much, Shilpa!
      So glad that you’re working on self-love this year. May it help you find light and hope in the coming days.
      Take care.

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