Often, when we are caught in the stress of life, we easily forget how the responsibility to stay happy, comfortable and calm lies within us.
Life brings us pain and worries and troubles in cartloads. Knocked out by the slings and volleys from the curveballs that get thrown at us, we start getting despondent, then worrisome and finally, miserable. So much so that we lose the power to notice what is awesome and magical in life.
It takes a good measure of blows from the School of Hard Knocks to realise that no one can make us happy. Simply looking to get happy from another person or a job, or even an external factor, outside of us, may not always help.
In fact, when we leave our happiness in someone else’s hands, we usually end up being dependent on them and when they leave us, we are left empty inside. And then, the blame game begins.
Haven’t we all been there some time or the other? I know, I’ve been there far too often for my liking or comfort. And, then, as time has gone by, we’ve learnt what works and what doesn’t.
Everything outside of ourselves can help us get better in life, but they are definitely not the means to our happiness.
So, how do we change our response to situations, then?
We can begin by learning to break the cycle of our responses and experiences and change our approach to events and situations. Let me explain how.
Actions speak louder than words.
If we are intent on being happy, we must follow it up with the right action. Without the right action, we would only be lying to ourselves. If we do the same things every day, we’re going to see the same results, right? So, if we want something different to happen, we’re going to do something new to make that happen.
If being happy is a priority in our life, it will show in our daily activities. Otherwise, it isn’t important enough. Simple, isn’t it?
Viktor Frankl, in his best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning mentions about two of the most important values in life—the experiential, or that which happens to us and the attitudinal, or our response in a difficult situation.
In this case, we must learn to change our response to situations. We must assume responsibility for making happiness important by taking the time and the effort needed to be happy despite whatever life throws our way, and that means we cannot play the blame game anymore.
We need to do things differently so that can we can allow ourselves to bring joy in the little moments; living more mindfully even when things are not going great; telling ourselves that the worst times as much as the good times will only be a temporary phase, and opening ourselves to give to others what we expect others to give to us.
As we begin another week, let’s resolve to make a tiny change that will lead on to allow us to lead more fulfilling and happier lives. Let us pledge that despite whatever comes our way, we will usher in positivity and hope into our routines, that will guide us through the rest of the week. Let us pledge to make ourselves happy:
If we want the power to make ourselves happy, we have to assume the responsibility for our happiness.
It may not be easy at first, but once we change our mindset, the rest will follow easily, over time. One step at a time is all it takes, but that one step must be taken by us and us alone.
Let’s take that step and break the cycle of misery. Let’s do it now.
Linking with Corinne of Everyday Gyaan for #MondayMusings
Wise words. We definitely have very little control over much of what happens to us, but we can control how we react to what happens.
It’s difficult, but not impossible, to react positively to negative situations.
And it does take baby steps to get there!
@dSavannahCreate from dSavannahRambles
An equal and opposite tendency among us as women is to take responsibility for the happiness of others–which, or course, we cannot accomplish!
Absolutely, Michele. That’s what I did for the maximum period in my life through the different stages and realised what a frustrating thing that proved to be. My own happiness was side-lined in the process. I totally get you on this one!
Just my thoughts today, Esha. Finally, it’s really up to us. My own experiences this last month have given me reason to be low, but I’ve had to pick myself up and realize that I better practise what I preach!
Thanks for the timely reminder, Esha. Hugs.
We’re all battling similar situations, Corinne and I guess there comes a time when we realise the futility of blaming others or our situations when we ourselves haven’t done enough to look after our own happiness. Not easy but we must follow up our intent to be happy with the right actions. If we don’t prioritise that, how can we expect other people to do so?
Glad to share, Corinne. Hugs
That’s a good reminder for everyone. We only can take charge of our lives. Nobody else can. It’s up to us what we choose- joy or anguish. Circumstances keep changing like the ebb and flow of waves, but it is for us to keep nurturing ourselves and doing what keeps us grounded and peaceful.
Happiness is indeed a personal choice. Though sometimes our circumstances may come in the way of this choice, but it is for us to be responsible for our well being.
A well written, insightful post, dearest Esha. <3
Thank you so much, Natasha. Life teaches you all that, doesn’t it? Years of pre-conditioning might tell us to put others before ourselves but self-love is very essential to our well-being as much as placing our own happiness in that priority list that we wake up to every single morning of our life. These last few months have come in with so many lessons that I’m eternally grateful for them now. So glad you stopped by to share your thoughts, dear friend!
Hugs
Life teaches us so much and also bestows us with such lovely gifts, challenges albeit. We just have to be open to the universe and it’s abundance.
Self-love is pertinent and I’m so glad we are learning the lessons now. Better late than never.
Big hugs and happy vibes my dear friend.♥️
That last quote says it all. We have to take responsibility for our happiness. It’s not easy to do that all the time. However it never hurts to remind oneself to do away with the excuses and bring in change. Thought provoking post Esha.
Absolutely, Tulika! The excuses work for a little while but in the long run, lead us nowhere. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? I’m thankful to the last few months for teaching me why I have to prioritise my own well-being and happiness at all costs, come what may! Thank you for stopping by the blog, today, Tulika.
How hard we have to try to stay happy. There was a time in life when I took happiness for granted. Simple things used to make me happy but now staying happy is a struggle. Thanks for this thoughtful and inspirational post Di. Love and hugs.
We change with time, Tina. My own responses have undergone a sea-change since I was a younger person who could brush things aside very easily. Now, it doesn’t happen as easily. I’ve realised how much of our well-being and happiness is in our own hands, even when life springs us nasty surprises ever now and then. Some life lessons from the last few months shared here. Hugs
I am working really hard to blame someone else for my worries and unhappiness. It’s a slow process, I guess. But conscious efforts are being taken.
Good to know you are trying to put in the right efforts, Shalini. It takes time but you will get there, for sure, you know! We are all fighting battles of our own, every single one of us, but the most important thing is to keep trying to be self-reliant as far as happiness goes.