This week, #SoulfulSunday is all about random musings from the week gone by! The nameless moments of mundane living, a few reflections and a revelation, worth making a note of…
The week went by in a blur.
I did everything that was expected of me and yet, a certain sense of gloom enveloped me for the most part of the week as if there was nothing wonderful or inspiring to lift my sagging spirits and cheer me on to my goals. Creatively speaking, I was unproductive. Despite my best efforts, by the middle of the week, I was unable to thwart the flow of negative thoughts from taking over my mind. By Friday, I was in the grips of a strange feeling of apathy towards everything. Thankfully, the feeling didn’t last long enough to mellow me down or push me further low.
As quiet mornings made their way into hot summer afternoons, I felt the heat and the humidity seep into my being. The weather at this time is usually harsh so on most days, as the day progressed, I kept the curtains drawn and stayed away from the direct heat. The dark confines of the rooms did enough to sustain my energy levels. When the afternoons got hotter, I couldn’t do without a short mid-afternoon nap to recharge myself.
A few hours of rest is unusual for me but on Friday, when I found myself extremely inert, I knew there was just one thing that I really needed to replenish my waning energy levels. Restful sleep came to my rescue and I was grateful that I had the time and opportunity to put my feet up for a few solid hours.
There was one thing though, that I forgot to mention—every day I felt a nagging thought within me, almost a silent reminder telling me that I had relegated my artwork on the back burner for close to four weeks and that it wasn’t the right thing to do. I knew I’d have to bring it back to the fore. Maybe, even better, try and build it into my daily routine, like exercise and meditation. I promised myself I had to do it. Along with the other thing as well—my daily writing practice, which had been tossed aside since I had to fit in an hour-long workout every morning! It’s crazy how our priorities keep getting shuffled week on week. So much to do within those morning hours before the house is up with the usual cacophony.
Catching up with the friends yesterday over one of our longest chat sessions turned out to be much-needed and totally therapeutic!
Ad yet, despite that, all through the week, I had this one constant feeling…of not being at home with myself; of something very essential to my spirit being amiss as if I was in a space that wasn’t really mine. Later, this morning, it dawned on me, perhaps, all week, while I did my best to attend to every chore and my ever-increasing to-do list, I hadn’t truly ‘lived’ as a creative being at all!
That, dear reader, was the revelation!
Now tell me, how did your week go? And what are your plans for the coming week?
Written as part of our #SoulfulSunday freewriting exercise—a concept ideated by Vinitha, Shilpa and yours truly.
I am back here today after my wifi debacle from last week.
Your mornings and your schedule made me reflect upon how I was spending my mornings. I too had been wanting to pack in my meditation, yoga and exercise and sitting peacefully with my lemon water, all 3 so much important for me, and each morning I felt terrible since I couldn’t do all of them because soon the mind used to get cluttered with the fear of D waking up for his classes, making breakfast to be served exactly during the break after the 1st period and then the maid turning up with her never-ending sob stories. This week has been better since D is having a week-long spring break in school which means I do not have to bother about him waking up and serving him breakfast with an eye on the clock. The sob-stories are a constant, though.
Keeping the mornings aside, my rest of the day, especially the evening go by fine when I do my crochet and read.
This post was like a piece of your heart out into words, Esha! You are so talented. I love your art, your posts and how creative you are. Since the start of this year, I made a promise to myself that I will prioritize what I like and want to do. With work taking most of my time, I was finding it hard to manage and do all the things I wanted to do. I am still struggling but I make an attempt as much as possible. Crochet was like a new discovery for me.
So here to us making us a priority! Lots of love and hugs! I am right here and as soon as things get better, let’s meet. <3
Restful sleep is so important! I lose perspective when I get too little of it; I lived for over a year on about 3 hours’ sleep a night, and now revel in a solid 8. What a luxury, and how important it is to mental and physical health!
We need a balance of the creative and the mundane. I know that if I don’t attend to the “chores” that need to be done, I feel too guilty to give myself free rein to be creative. But if I’m stifling the creativity in favor of the daily slog, my heart’s not in that, either.
I know you wrote this last week, but it sounds a lot like how this week was for me, Esha. I took my vaccine shot and had slight fever, headache and body pains, but more than that I felt listless and unproductive. House work went on, but nothing else happened, besides lot of reading. I guess it’s okay to be this way too sometimes.
Somehow this made me put a name to my feelings which visit me often. I loved how how you were able to express your emotions as well as juggle between so many things. Reading this made me both tired and relaxed. Tired at how someone can do so much and still feel there is more to accomplish Relaxed and relieved that I am not alone in this journey. Thanks for a wonderful post, Esha. It is truly a soulful post.
Oh my – that’s a lot of things to squeeze into the morning, before everyone wakes up! I think, somewhere, in running around and meeting everyone else’s needs, we forget that we need to meet our needs too. And that it is ok for us to take out time for ourselves.
I just saw Shilpa’s comment too – of making artwork together. If that is something you girls are planning to do, count me in too?
Hey, Shinjini, you are most welcome. I will message you about the day we decide. <3
How many things can a person squeeze in their precious morning time! Writing, meditation, yoga, alone time and then you realize that there is more that you want to do. And there is no more time left in that morning hour. Deep breath, Esha. Don’t forget to pause and fill your lungs with fresh air. When did our lives become a basket for others tasks! I feel like I’mswinging from one branch to the other with no break. Well, I might lose the balance and grip and eventually break myself, which is the only break in my future.
Sorry for this unhelpful comment, Esha. Reading your week in review felt like you took pieces from my week to write it. 🙂 I think I am overwhelmed with the changes and the pending chores. I feel lonely too as the husband is busy since we moved. I feel empty and cluttered at the same time.
Hope things will get better the soonest, Esha. I loved how you arrived at your revelation. Without creativity what is life! Wish you an abundance of creativity everyday of your life, Esha. 🧡💖
I know that feeling. You know something’s missing but can’t pinpoint what. I guess it happens with most of the creative people. 🙂
This happened to me a couple of weeks ago too. Some nagging feeling that put me off my normal path of diet & exercise. I have to get back to it soon. You are right. Every week our priorities change. But I think that is good. What is the point in sticking to the same routine day in and day our? Right?
So it is only when you create that you feel fulfilled …. I had a good week, working on the A to Z challenge, finding out new things on WordPress. Also had a week of body ache so was exhausted most of the time
Such a touching account of what goes on in our seemingly mundane life . Often tunes we wonder if this is our purpose and why the resistance ? This summer heat mercilessly sucks the life force out .
I too struggle with daily routines and don’t focus on my creative side . Lessons learnt !
Stay blessed dear .
Oh, and an idea struck my mind just now…
Would you like to do some artwork together, with me, like we do Soulful Sunday? Do think over it. Any day of the week, and the time as per your convenience is fine by me. Maybe we could make some artwork for 10 to 15 minutes, or more, once a week, and feel better. What say?
Ya, sure why not? Sounds exciting, Shilpa. Lets do it. We can do some artwork every week and share it, tagging each other, hai na? Ek accountability chahiye, right?
Yes! So, let me know the day when you can find time and we will begin. 🙂 Looking forward to it!
First of all, I loved this idea of summing up your week, sharing all that you experienced during the week and at the end, learning something about yourself, or your life. I think this is going to be the theme of my Soulful Sunday posts, with your permission, of course, as I am stealing your idea! 😛 Feel free to oppose it if you feel I must come up with something original. 😀
You know, Esha, that last line of your post, “while I did my best to attend to every chore…..”? The words that came to my mind as I read the sentence were, “…while I did my best to attend to every chore…I had failed to attend to myself!”
Amidst all that demands your attention, you are losing yourself, I feel. It happens with all of us. I see it happening with my mom, too. She is always there, for everybody and everything, but herself.
Putting ourselves at the end of our priority lists leaves us feeling drained, frustrated and desperate. Lost, actually. Isn’t it? I am glad you are taking time out for your health and writing. And I am sure you will work something out so that you are able to give time to the creative person within you, too.
Oh! So loved the looooooooong comment, Shilpa!
Ok, first things first. I give you permission to take my idea. 🙂 Go ahead and make it your theme. It’s something that we can all use, as and when we need to.
It’s true though…we don’t prioritise ourselves most of the times. And we do lose ourselves bit by bit, everyday. Actually blogging got me back to writing and art otherwise I’d have lost myself completely by now.
Juggling priorities is always challenging but I’m glad I’m juggling with my own set of priorities week by week, which means some things that are important for me are getting done. That’s a good beginning, right?
Thanks for the permission, Esha! <3
Yes, the fact that you are able to do things that matter to you means it's a good beginning. Keep it up! <3