I had a tough week that I’m glad to leave behind, but somewhere deep down, a fleeting thought reappears every now and then…what if things repeat…what if I find myself going through the same emotions again?
Letting go is a tough thing to do. Even when we’ve been learning to do so, in a multitude of ways before. Letting go is always a challenge. I learnt this once again, in a fresh new context—and finally, after a struggle that lasted nearly a week or so, I learnt to let go…of everything that was holding me back.
Some things push us to the brink all too easily, and it happens to the best of us and the strongest of us—no matter how resilient and confident we may have been. The struggles are all too real and one is left with the feeling of being drowned in a deluge of feelings and emotions, from where there is no escape!
This week, I faced one of my worst days in recent times that further led me down the rabbit hole of self-loathing and ignominy! It was impossible to push myself out of it, but what I realised whilst I was struggling was that occasionally, we must ask for help. I did. And it made a huge difference in helping me find my way back.
Back to myself after all the agony. Back to feeling whole again, after feeling like I was ripped apart into shreds.
There are dark times that we hate to imagine ourselves in. I was right there, in one of my worst nightmares, caught in the dark, unsure, blinded and lost. But, then, now, looking back, I can say it was because of the dark that I can now see the light.
Once again, I’ve been reminded to appreciate the impermanence of things—because, all said and done, nothing lasts—neither the good, not the bad!
Thank God for that!!
I’m grateful for every life lesson that has come my way this week. Just deeply and utterly grateful to the Universe for looking after me through it all. The learnings were many, but if I could just sum it up in a few words it would be something like this:
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett
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Written as part of our #SoulfulSunday free writing exercise, along with my friends Vinitha and Shilpa.
Hugs, Esha. Yes, nothing is permanent. That’s just the of the truth of the universe. We learn to learn from our experiences and move on ahead. I am glad you are past the difficult days. <3
Absolutely, Vinitha. Life is constantly teaching us things we sometimes don’t know and sometimes in denial of… eventually though, we learn from the truth and hopefully (as in my case, I can only hope!) that we become wiser and more pragmatic.
Sometimes the impermanence of things is reassuring. I am sorry you have to go through so much. Lots of hugs and love to you. I always admire how you face these situations with grace and gratefulness in your heart.
Thank you once again, Rajlakshmi. I hope to live with courage and resilience always… not easy at times but then that’s the only way we can make the best of whatever comes our way.
So sorry you had to go through such a day, Esha. But, what I see is someone who has braved it beautifully, made peace with it enough to talk about it and has let it go. That’s the most important thing.
Hopefully, the coming days are better for you <3
Thanks so much, Soumya. I’m really hoping for better days ahead. It’s been draining my heart and soul beyond what I can endure. Writing is a way to let out what can’t be expressed otherwise. So grateful that I’m part of this lovely writing community. I cherish the connection with you all. ❤️
I’ve tried to understand this lately, life is like a sine wave. That momentary feeling that puts us in the rabbit hole needs that acknowledgement of it’s okay to feel that way makes it acceptable to handle. I’m learning it too, letting go is tough, but is good learning. Hugs to you, for rediscovering yourself once again, Esha. This is a life long process for some of us who feel deeply. <3
It’s interesting how you put it Jayanthy! I think you’re right about learning to let go. It’s a long process I know. But I’m holding on to it as much as my hopes for better days ahead. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing those kind words. It means a lot to me ❤️
There is always light at the end of the dark tunnel. Just continuing believing the universe is looking after you, guiding you, supporting you and protecting you. Seek its protection.
Thanks so much for the kind words, Anamika. I live in hope because that’s all I can bank upon at this point. Rest all is unpredictable as life is.
I totally resonate with your thoughts Esha . I admire how bravely you face these challenges and inspire others to do so too .
There’s that deep reservoir of pain right where you can touch it . Its an irony that some important lessons in life are learnt through sadness and through loss .One rediscovers gratitude in new and different way.
I am sanguine that you’ve built enough resilience now so when the challenges come, you will remember that anchored deep within you is the ability to learn and grow. In this process you will discover the very best version of yourself !
Thank you so much dearest Aru’di! Your warm words are just the things that I need to hear right now, as I’m processing a lot of things. Growing through pain has never been easy but totally worth it. I’m trying to get there, someday soon. Always a work in progress, as they say!!
Thanks ever so much for stopping by the blog and leaving such a thoughtful comment. It means so much to me, Aru’di. Love n hugs ❤️
Tight hugs, Esha! I admire your courage and the grace with which you accept all that life brings you. Praying for you and wishing only the best for you. <3
Thank you so much sweetheart!! Your words give me a lot of strength and courage. ❤️❤️