Fear, sadness and pain come by turns, knocking on my door, each morning.
Somedays, I let them in, and allow them space to reign within my head. At other times, I shoo them away even before I realise it myself. We all must agree, that in these trying times, not all days are the same. Neither are we always in control of our thoughts, emotions and feelings. One needs focus and attention to get on with the many wonderful things that one sets out to do on a given day.
Whatever one says, the pandemic has made us realign ourselves with our goals and priorities, in spite of the many challenges that have got in the way. It’s true we are drowning in overwhelm somedays but it is equally true that there are days when we are able to find ourselves in meaningful pursuits that make us grateful for whatever we have. Each one of us can count on our fingers the few things that give us the purpose and the push to keep going, never mind even if it is one day at a time.
Last week, we lost a dear relative to Covid. It was a complete shock to know that a person so full of life and positivity should have to leave the world so soon, leaving so many of her loved ones devastated. Yesterday was her birthday, exactly, a week after she left us all. How does one ever prepare for losing one’s loved ones? How do you harden yourself, when you feel you are vulnerable and soft, while everything around you is crumbling to pieces? I have no answer. All I know is we must go on. Life must go on. Every day I think of her, and I remember her warmth, her beautiful smile and her zest for good food and life, with which she lived.
It seems a sense of loss overrules every other feeling for me today. And then, I tell myself, for the umpteenth time—
People go. Memories remain.
Uncertainty continues to rule our lives. Like a see-saw ride, we go up and fall down, whilst clinging on, to things that we are attached, never really sure, when the ride will be our last.
This, I suppose, is how life will go on, for a while now. One ride at a time.
Sharing, below, a poem for our uncertain times.
Linking up with #MondayMusings hosted by Corinne of EverydayGyaan.
I am sorry for your loss Esha. These are uncertain times for sure. My Dad is still recovering from Covid while other members of my family seem to have recovered. We try to find humor in our everyday life and that’s how we are surviving. Else nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared us for the things that are unfolding around us.
You take care.
Esha,so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
The poem is so poignant.
I must thank you for reminding us, that we still have, and will always have memories of those who have moved on.
I am deeply sorry for your loss, Esha. These are very uncertain times and some days it feels like a whole lot of effort to stay afloat, much less keeping our head above the waves. I find comfort in reading a lot more these days and disconnecting from the news cycle and social media as much as possible. News of people passing (ones close to us) hits very hard and at that time I send up a prayer for the departed as well as the ones they have left behind. None of this is easy or comforting but I am hopeful that there is a silver lining somewhere in the distance and we just have to hold on a bit longer before we can see it in its full glory. Stay safe and healthy. Much love to you.
Earlier, I used to live life in the tomorrows. You know, thinking about what I would do if…
Today, thanks to the pandemic, thanks to life that brought us to reality with a jolt, I take each day as it comes. With all that is happening around, uncertainty hangs on our heads all the time. I feel it’s an accomplishment when we put one foot after the other.
Hugs!
Hugs! My deepest condolences. It is indeed tough to lose a loved one and when it is before time, it is even tougher. The poem is beautiful.
Deep heart felt condolences dear Esha. That’s the toughest. Have lost a few dear ones too in this time and the chasm is a tough one. But life goes on and we need to move on with all that we have and with courage in our heart.
Have a blessed rest of the week. Keep writing, keep making art. <3
Love and light always.
Hi Esha, I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for a beautiful poem. I lost someone not too long ago and I still sometimes think I’ll send him a message … and then I remember. Thank you for sharing and take care #MondayMusings
My condolences to you and the family. Such a beautiful poem.
Thank you so much, Damyanti. <3
My condolences on the passing of your relative, Esha. It’s really hard to come to terms with the number of people who are passing away in our circle. On one hand it’s tempting to numb oneself to the pain – but that’s not healthy! There’s not much to do except make peace with the times. Your poem is a beautiful reminder of pain and surrender to things beyond our control.