This has been a week of quiet reflections for me. I decided to take a break from blogging, which I anyway do, from time to time, but more importantly, I’ve been indulging in some soul talk (or introspection, if you please!) I’ll make an honest confession here. One of the perils of being ‘me’ is that I am extremely self-critical and often go too hard on myself (yes, I know I shouldn’t – But I do!) As I was telling you, I’ve discovered a few changes in myself recently, that has radically changed the way I interact with people these days.
I have realised that I’m getting a little impatient these days. Until a few years ago, I could happily join in a conversation with a total stranger. It could be anybody – be it the lady at the grocery store or the new neighbour who moved into the block a few days ago, or the friendly lady who often smiled, eagerly waiting to start a conversation so she could collect all her ‘data’ about you and your family. It would be quite normal for me to relent, with a smile, accepting that people are social animals who like to connect, and occasionally, also cursing myself later, for wasting precious minutes, giving out so much about myself. Nowadays I’m becoming a little wary of people. Of the lot of my ever increasing circle of friends and acquaintances, (the latter- including some fair-weather types as well), there has been a small close-knit group of good friends that I have depended on through the odds in life. You could say that we have been there for each other through the odds and needless to say, been contented that our vibes have always assured us that our circle is complete.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love to meet people, and am really happy to be with positive, open-minded folks (irrespective of whether we agree or disagree over issues) especially when I feel that there is some common ground that we share. I’m just a little choosy with the time I invest in people now. No longer keen to suffer fools gladly, as before or spend time with negative types who not only drain their own energy levels but mine too. The nosey types are an absolute no-no as are the ones that abound in unsolicited advice on everything under the sun. I guess I’m totally done with all of them now.
I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.
This quote by Joquesse Eugenia really puts my life into perspective now, knowing that as I get older, the quality of the time that I spend with anyone is extremely valuable and perhaps I ought to make the most of it. I am no longer in school or at the university, to have to ‘play nice’ and be friends with everyone in my surroundings. I’m way past that point in life, living life on my terms, as far as possible and no longer obligated to invite someone to tag along somewhere. I am happy to make my own decisions without any pressure to include people I no longer wish to associate with. Simply put, if the company I keep is bringing me down or filling my life with anxiety, it’s time to make some adjustments. And, to tell you the truth, I feel liberated doing so – you could say it is the natural progression of life.
At times, I find being alone is much better than being with people who do not bring anything of value to my life. Life brings enough anxiety as it is; the people with whom we choose to surround ourselves should not be part of it. Understanding the concept of vibes has helped me determine who to spend my time with as well. Some people cannot vibe the way others can, it’s just simply in their nature. I’ve realised that the sooner we realise it, the more our mentality improves.
Well, for now, all I can say is, I’m trying to embrace the good vibes and letting go of the negative ones and then see how much better life will be. As I sign off I am beginning to wonder – Is it just me or does it happen to people? Do people have such thoughts? Did YOU ever feel this way? What has been YOUR experience?
(Linking this to the #Monday Musings post on Write Tribe)
I think with time, we start reflecting more and become more introspective. There is nothing wrong with that. It is art of growing wise….:)….and it is always good to have good friends and some good solitude too…..:)
http://istoppedtosmellarose.blogspot.com/2015/09/wise-old-words.html
You echo my thoughts, Sunaina. Do feel that we grow wiser as we grow older…and few good friends are enough to feel good. What else does one want? (Sorry for the delayed response. Was on a break from blogging!)
It somehow began to kick in quite early in my life. Perhaps the passing years remind us that time is limited and so is our emotional energies..
Yes, the paucity of time in our lives reminds us that we really need to prioritise what to do with time and who to spend it with! The earlier, the better 🙂
Reading your post after a v long time..Touching indeed. I guess, we all do go through such phases in our lives.So challenging at times.I too enjoy being on my own sometimes 🙂 🙂
Best wishes. Happy writing!!
Thanks, Dyotini. Hearing from you after ages!! You are right – we do go through trying times and as we grow older, life reveals uncanny ways of showing us the real from the fake. It is up to us to act upon it. Thank you so much for visiting Soul Talk 🙂
It happens with me too. Though I’m not of the types that would hit off with anyone I meet but still these days I just feel like I don’t want to talk to anyone… other than my close circle! So, I guess it happens with everyone once in a while
Nibha, thanks for stopping by at Soul Talk 🙂 You know, I can relate with you on that because like you I too take my time to get to know a person before hitting it off! It makes sense to keep to a small group of folks who know us and whom we know well enough. I guess it’s also okay to enjoy being alone at times as solitude gives us ‘me-time’ that’s too precious to ignore!
I couldn’t agree more to this. Surely how can I forget the most precious me-time!
I can very well relate to this post. When we start understanding vibes, much changes within and outside. Stay positive. 🙂
Thanks, Payal, for stopping by at Soul Talk:-) A relief to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way! For now, happy with the knowledge that I’m being honest and keeping it real! Agree that we can tell when we have a good vibe with someone…it totally changes how we interact!
I think it’s okay to let go of toxic relationships and acquaintances, it’s okay to not have patience for those anymore…I’m also tired of people who add no value to my life or of people who don’t enrich me in anyway…And I don’t mind not having the time or the inclination to speak to them..So , don’t worry and don’t blame yourself for the changes..
So glad to know that it isn’t just me…toxic relationships are a great drain on our energy and I have seen that they usually bring out the worst in oneself. Better off alone than those who add no value to the interaction…happy to hear from you and thanks for stopping by at Soul Talk 🙂
I agree with Corinne. I have become more of a loner in later years, and if I am honest with myself…I have always been a loner. Some people take more energy than others and seriously turning on the ole “on” button to deal with folks is exhausting and most of the time not worth the effort.
Thanks for the reassurance Kathy…good to know I am not alone in this! Agree that some people just drain your energy and if that is the case, one is better off by oneself! Thanks so much stopping by at Soul Talk 🙂
I think it’s the natural consequence of going older and sometimes of us not having the emotional energy for meaningless conversations. While I’m happy to smile at people, I really have no energy to shoot the air with people, even some long time ‘friends’.
You’re right, Corinne! Sure signs of getting older (and hopefully wiser!). Lessons taught by life and the School of Hard Knocks, I guess!Now that the forced conversations are gone, I feel lighter and happier 🙂