The stronger the demand, the stronger the response.
I’m trying to beat the current situation, that has been testing us all to the core, as I grapple with life and it’s uncertainties, on a daily basis. Sadness, worry and anxiety come and go, but yoga and meditation help me in a big way, to get myself going, to tackle the rest of my day, juggling the different roles that I play, using every nerve, muscle and sinew to bring myself to stay positive and hopeful. To just be.
I’m trying to shut myself in a quiet zone these days. Away from social media too! I’m learning to accept things that are happening across the world. The mind goes on an overdrive some days but other days, I’m able to retain my calm and smile, as I attend to the chores. I assure my teen who is anxious. I assure my septuagenarian mother that things will improve soon. I need my calm and my quiet when I work. There are things that need to get done. One doesn’t have a choice. Things that cannot wait. But, for now, my reading waits. My writing waits. My art waits.
It is tough to stay cooped up for so long. Not being able to claim your old life. They say this is the new normal. I’m scared of a life that does not offer me time to rest or relax or read or write or create art. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of the endless piles of dishes waiting to be washed, no matter how often one clears the sink. And even though I love to cook, I’m tired of having to churn up meals every single day, without a break. Those endless chores never seem to get over. Those books on my table are gathering dust. The journal, waiting to be picked up. I haven’t sketched in a very long time. I long to see life the way it was before the virus changed our lives forever. I long for sunset skies. I look forward to normalcy in our lives.
But, let me tell you, right now, more than the 600+ muscles in the body that are enabling me to move from Point A to Point B, it’s that one voluntary muscle, that is helping me see through the series of challenges to get myself going, even if it is one day at a time.
It’s the Hustle Muscle. Like all muscles, this one helps to adapt and respond to the myriads of demands placed upon oneself. I’m working on it. Still not giving up. A few niggling worries creep up though—
How will I find the time to do the things that I love doing? How will I balance it all? How will things fall in place again? Will it, ever? When??
Perhaps, time alone will tell.
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