Often, when we are caught in the stress of life, we easily forget how the responsibility to stay happy, comfortable and calm lies within us.
Life brings us pain and worries and troubles in cartloads. Knocked out by the slings and volleys from the curveballs that get thrown at us, we start getting despondent, then worrisome and finally, miserable. So much so that we lose the power to notice what is awesome and magical in life.
It takes a good measure of blows from the School of Hard Knocks to realise that no one can make us happy. Simply looking to get happy from another person or a job, or even an external factor, outside of us, may not always help.
In fact, when we leave our happiness in someone else’s hands, we usually end up being dependent on them and when they leave us, we are left empty inside. And then, the blame game begins.
Haven’t we all been there some time or the other? I know, I’ve been there far too often for my liking or comfort. And, then, as time has gone by, we’ve learnt what works and what doesn’t.
Everything outside of ourselves can help us get better in life, but they are definitely not the means to our happiness.
So, how do we change our response to situations, then?
We can begin by learning to break the cycle of our responses and experiences and change our approach to events and situations. Let me explain how.
Actions speak louder than words.
If we are intent on being happy, we must follow it up with the right action. Without the right action, we would only be lying to ourselves. If we do the same things every day, we’re going to see the same results, right? So, if we want something different to happen, we’re going to do something new to make that happen.
If being happy is a priority in our life, it will show in our daily activities. Otherwise, it isn’t important enough. Simple, isn’t it?
Viktor Frankl, in his best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning mentions about two of the most important values in life—the experiential, or that which happens to us and the attitudinal, or our response in a difficult situation.
In this case, we must learn to change our response to situations. We must assume responsibility for making happiness important by taking the time and the effort needed to be happy despite whatever life throws our way, and that means we cannot play the blame game anymore.
We need to do things differently so that can we can allow ourselves to bring joy in the little moments; living more mindfully even when things are not going great; telling ourselves that the worst times as much as the good times will only be a temporary phase, and opening ourselves to give to others what we expect others to give to us.
As we begin another week, let’s resolve to make a tiny change that will lead on to allow us to lead more fulfilling and happier lives. Let us pledge that despite whatever comes our way, we will usher in positivity and hope into our routines, that will guide us through the rest of the week. Let us pledge to make ourselves happy:
If we want the power to make ourselves happy, we have to assume the responsibility for our happiness.
It may not be easy at first, but once we change our mindset, the rest will follow easily, over time. One step at a time is all it takes, but that one step must be taken by us and us alone.
Let’s take that step and break the cycle of misery. Let’s do it now.
Linking with Corinne of Everyday Gyaan for #MondayMusings