Monday mornings come and go. Some days they bring me that zest for life and a spurt of enthusiasm that sweeps over all crippling doubts, filling me with new hope.
Yesterday, somebody just did the opposite. Remember how they say people transfer their energy onto you when they interact with you. Well, somebody just didn’t feel good about themselves or their life and dumped all their negativity onto me. I did resist and I did my best to ward it off but it only came in greater volumes and finally, by the time I called it a day, those replayed in my head for so long that I was laden with all the weight of those harsh words, and cruel thoughts weighing me down to the point that I struggled hard to sleep. I must have stayed up way past midnight.
When I was up with a heavy head this morning, it was as if a 10 kg helmet had been forced onto my head and I had no choice but to sink into the quicksand. And, so it would have been. But, of course, I chose not to fight the inner demons. I relied on my inner calm to pull me up, slowly and surely. It took me a while but I chose happy thoughts and the beautiful view outside my window to lift me into my usual optimistic self again.
Little raging battles often happen inside our head, away from the prying eyes of people around us and yet, how strong these are, because they make or mar a great start to the day. They lift our sagging spirits and teach us why our words —the ones we say to ourselves— are so important to us. We can talk ourselves out of negativity and bring in an aura of light into our world, if only we develop an inner calm within us. It can be very powerful to keep the outer storms at bay and help us introspect how we are capable of changing our thoughts, feelings and emotions in a very powerful way.
This was all about emotional pain. This came after three intense days of physical pain over the weekend—yes, I had another severe migraine bout that kept me sick day and night, as if life itself were on hold. Since my regular medicines didn’t work, I even went to see a holistic therapist on Saturday who gave me something that only partially helped. As anyone who suffers from migraine will know, one is absolutely incapable of leading a normal life when in the throes of this pain. Life itself comes to a standstill.
With a painful vision that made reading from a smartphone screen extremely difficult, I struggled but eventually figured out a set of medicines that could potentially work. In the midst of the throbbing pain, I walked into a homeopathy store and picked up the said medicine and took a dose. An hour later, I was much better. By the end of the afternoon, I was almost headache-free and thrilled that my own medication perhaps helped me more than anything else. I cannot describe the joy I felt knowing that I had the power to cure myself of something that even the doctors had failed to. I guess that’s because its not just me—we all undermine our capabilities all the time. Why do we need to run to others to help us when all we need is to tap into ourselves and find out the answers? Why, time and again, do we seek validation for what we do?
Can you see how all this while, I was in pain, I was feeling helpless? The pain, compounded with my inability to handle the severity of it, made worse by the fact that my life seemed to be totally out of my control, all made me—yes, understandably upset—about the situation and about myself.
Isn’t that we always do? We angrily question how unfair life is or why we don’t change. We fight the current situation, bringing on feelings of distress about our pain. Actually, this dilemma is so common that the Buddhists long ago reduced it to a formula: Pain x Resistance = Suffering. Translation: Fighting against (or resisting) the reality of the pain in our life creates suffering. So, instead of fighting the reality, accepting it and doing something about it helps. We all have our battles that we are fighting everyday. Some within us and some outside, some with the world around us and some against our inner selves. The key is to take the control back into our own hands and see how we can help ourselves or effect the change we wish to see.
Another start to the week and I’m sure you and I have things that need working on and plenty to tackle at both personal and work fronts. Let us keep our inner calm and work at whatever it is that gets in the way of our progress today, be it small or big. Let us keep trusting in our capabilities and believe in who we are and who we can ever be. Work in progress, alright— but capable, that is what we are—no matter how flawed or imperfect we are still the most powerful because we alone can make the difference. Yes, we can.
Have a great Monday, everyone.
Linking to #mondaymusings hosted by Corinne
and #mg hosted by Mackenzie Glanville