This has been a week of quiet reflections for me. I decided to take a break from blogging, which I anyway do, from time to time, but more importantly, I’ve been indulging in some soul talk (or introspection, if you please!) I’ll make an honest confession here. One of the perils of being ‘me’ is that I am extremely self-critical and often go too hard on myself (yes, I know I shouldn’t – But I do!) As I was telling you, I’ve discovered a few changes in myself recently, that has radically changed the way I interact with people these days.
I have realised that I’m getting a little impatient these days. Until a few years ago, I could happily join in a conversation with a total stranger. It could be anybody – be it the lady at the grocery store or the new neighbour who moved into the block a few days ago, or the friendly lady who often smiled, eagerly waiting to start a conversation so she could collect all her ‘data’ about you and your family. It would be quite normal for me to relent, with a smile, accepting that people are social animals who like to connect, and occasionally, also cursing myself later, for wasting precious minutes, giving out so much about myself. Nowadays I’m becoming a little wary of people. Of the lot of my ever increasing circle of friends and acquaintances, (the latter- including some fair-weather types as well), there has been a small close-knit group of good friends that I have depended on through the odds in life. You could say that we have been there for each other through the odds and needless to say, been contented that our vibes have always assured us that our circle is complete.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love to meet people, and am really happy to be with positive, open-minded folks (irrespective of whether we agree or disagree over issues) especially when I feel that there is some common ground that we share. I’m just a little choosy with the time I invest in people now. No longer keen to suffer fools gladly, as before or spend time with negative types who not only drain their own energy levels but mine too. The nosey types are an absolute no-no as are the ones that abound in unsolicited advice on everything under the sun. I guess I’m totally done with all of them now.
I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If we don’t vibrate on the same frequency there’s just no reason for us to waste our time. I’d rather have no one and wait for substance than to not feel someone and fake the funk.
This quote by Joquesse Eugenia really puts my life into perspective now, knowing that as I get older, the quality of the time that I spend with anyone is extremely valuable and perhaps I ought to make the most of it. I am no longer in school or at the university, to have to ‘play nice’ and be friends with everyone in my surroundings. I’m way past that point in life, living life on my terms, as far as possible and no longer obligated to invite someone to tag along somewhere. I am happy to make my own decisions without any pressure to include people I no longer wish to associate with. Simply put, if the company I keep is bringing me down or filling my life with anxiety, it’s time to make some adjustments. And, to tell you the truth, I feel liberated doing so – you could say it is the natural progression of life.
At times, I find being alone is much better than being with people who do not bring anything of value to my life. Life brings enough anxiety as it is; the people with whom we choose to surround ourselves should not be part of it. Understanding the concept of vibes has helped me determine who to spend my time with as well. Some people cannot vibe the way others can, it’s just simply in their nature. I’ve realised that the sooner we realise it, the more our mentality improves.
Well, for now, all I can say is, I’m trying to embrace the good vibes and letting go of the negative ones and then see how much better life will be. As I sign off I am beginning to wonder – Is it just me or does it happen to people? Do people have such thoughts? Did YOU ever feel this way? What has been YOUR experience?
(Linking this to the #Monday Musings post on Write Tribe)